Desire and wanting things can take you a long way. If you want something material, it's usually just a matter of saving up enough money until you can buy it. But if it's something larger, more intangible, yet altogether more important, then, well, desire can only take you so far. Today I read a few articles on writing written by professional authors. And then I remembered that I want to become a published author even more than I want that material object. I want to become a published author even more than I want good grades, than I want to get my summer job, even more than I want to graduate college in four years. I have been telling people since kindergarten that I want to be an author and even though at the time I had no idea what that really entailed, it's something that I've always wanted to do. So, you would think that if I want to write as much as I say I do then I'd be writing all the time. False. I have, for your reading pleasure a list of reasons why I don't write.
1. No time. Let's face it. I'm in college currently working on getting two bachelor degrees and trying to graduate in four years. I take six classes a semester and am involved in so many different things on campus. Is this great? Yes. Is it what I want from my college experience? Yes. Is it helping me be a better writer? Probably not. So, to put that excuse to shame I just have to MAKE time. I make time to procrastinate, I should make time to write, which quite frankly, is way more useful and fun than procrastinating.
2. No creativity. Ok, screw it. I might not have been able to write a satisfactory poem since I've gotten here but I should be able to write Guardians. I believe that writing a novel is a matter of putting the pieces together not sitting around and waiting for inspiration to strike. And I have all the pieces. I know I do. They're in my brain sitting around patiently just waiting to get out. Only they can't because I keep moaning about how I lost my creativity. Let's face it- I didn't. The ideas in my brain prove it.
3. No practicality. This is a big one. There are almost not writers who really make a full time living off of it and even fewer that actually get to be published in the first place. Have a plan B, they all say. And I do. But my plan B seems to be consuming my life and I'm forgetting all about my plan A, which after all, is what I really want to do. So for once, plan B is getting shelved and I'm blowing the dust off of plan A. (excuse the bad metaphor).
4. No confidence. This is the biggest one. It is TERRIFYING to share your work. There is a reason the blog has never become a facebook status, and why I've just started showing it to people. You are your writing and while you're supposed to have a tough skin blah, blah, blah, iron skin can't stop you from feeling hurt when you hear a critique of your writing. Because when people criticize your writing they're criticizing you. BUT, the alternative to baring your soul for critique is just staying hidden, True, there won't be any barbs coming your way but there also won't be any praise. Who knows? You might actually be better than you think. (I might actually be better than I think). And isn't that why I write? To share my writing with others? So, fairly soon maybe the link to this blog will become a facebook status...maybe.
So there you have it. Four airtight reasons that I shouldn't be writing that have just been blown out of the water. I should be writing, I can be writing, and I will be writing. From now on I HAVE to be writing or I'll be stuck dreaming. And let's face it, my desire has lead me here but in the end, desire can only take you so far. After that, it's all about what you can do.
No comments:
Post a Comment