Guardians of Cornerstone began as my senior project during my last year of high school. Since then it has morphed into a full fledged rough draft of a novella and is on its way to becoming a novel. Many of my posts touch upon it and reference passages that I have posted on this page. Posts are chronological from the most recent to senior year of high school at the back. Enjoy spending time exploring Cornerstone.
A Longer Excerpt
For an explanation of this piece go here. To briefly contextualize: Rafi and Kalynn are back in the Boston area.
Later that day Kalynn and Rafi were sitting on a bench near
Paul Revere’s capture site. The stone beneath them was still warm from the
day’s heat even though the sun was starting to set and a cool breeze ruffled
their clothing. They sat for a while, Rafi looking past the large memorial,
watching the cars zoom past them. Kalynn was more interested in the woods
behind them. She had wanted to go walking through the trails but Rafi said that
it was getting too dark. So instead they sat and just watched the light fade.
Rafi sighed
happily and Kalynn looked at him quizzically.
He smiled
at her. “Yes?”
“You look
calmer.”
“I love
this place. It’s cool being on top of history.”
Kalynn was
not quite sure what history he was talking about. Her classes at the university
didn’t cover specific historical events. So she just nodded and you, “you seem
relaxed, is all I meant.”
“There’s no
way to be on all the time. And you won’t judge me for not taking charge or not
knowing all the answers.”
She laughed
then stopped when she saw the expression in his eyes. In the fading light they
seemed almost black. “You’re being serious.”
“My friends
rely on me and I like that. It’s just exhausting to look after them.”
“Even Ben?”
He shook
his head then brushed dark blonde hair off his face. “Ben looks after me and
everyone else. The difference between us is that he likes doing it.”
“You
don’t?” The wind picked up and she shivered. Almost instinctively Rafi moved
closer to her. She could feel his body heat.
“It’s a lot
of pressure. I don’t want to let my friends down.”
Kalynn
noted an undertone of panic in his voice. “Don’t worry about Ben. We’ll get him
back here.”
As Rafi
shifted to look at her he moved even closer. “How did you know that’s what I
was thinking?”
“Instinct maybe.
Or maybe I know that’s what I would be worrying about. Don’t though. I won’t
let you let your friend down.”
Rafi didn’t
answer he only looked at her. She stared back, acutely aware of his knees
against hers and his fingertips laced with hers (though she wasn’t sure how
they’d gotten so close). Those eyes seemed browner and warmer now and they were
even closer.
Kalynn
quivered though she wasn’t cold. Her eyes were almost drawn from Rafi’s eyes to
his lips. He leaned in.
Kissing was
fine. It wasn’t her first kiss. Kissing was a natural, normal expression of
attraction. Kalynn’s thoughts were moving, analyzing people’s behavior as she
had trained it to. But when Rafi’s lips closed the gap she stopped.
Not
thinking. Just halted the analysis. Now all she thought about was how firm his
lips were and how soft the hair was that she had threaded through her fingers.
His hand twined around her waist and brought her closer. When he paused though
she pulled away, her thoughts crashing back.
“No.”
Rafi leaned
away. “No?”
Kalynn
inched along the bench. The distance helped her think. “How could you do that?”
“Me?” He
sounded as angry as he had when he was in Cornerstone.
“Yes.”
Kalynn felt cool, steady. “You kissed me remember?”
“Look. I
might have kissed you be here’s a secret. Guys don’t kiss girls unless they
think they’ll be kissed back. You wanted me to kiss you.”
“And?”
“And I did.
What’s the big deal? Are sprite not supposed to kiss humans?”
“No. We
just don’t normally kiss Others! And especially not when we’re supposed to be
helping them reopen an illegal portal!”
Rafi smiled
but didn’t move closer. She was grateful for that. “Nothing about this is
normal for either of us. Look, let’s just say that it was a good kiss in a
beautiful place and leave it at that.”
Kalynn
nodded glad he wasn’t going to complicate things further.
Rafi stood
and lead her back to his car. Then he added, “for now.”
Entering Our World
This is a second attempt at Kalynn and Rafi reentering the Otherworld (our world) more specifically Boston. It is better than the first, which I find encouraging. I had fun writing this because it's meant to be an interlude before we get into the characters' opinions and impressions. It let me write in a slightly different style than I usually do.
If any Boston residents had looked out their windows at 2:54 AM they would have thought they were still dreaming. First there was the sound of marbles falling onto pavement. Then, in colored balls of light two teenagers materialized.
At this point if any Bostonian had decided they were not hallucinating they might have decided to call an ambulance. Both figures were passed out, their chests barely rising and their pale faces had nothing to do with the lack of light in the sky.
Only one being was looking though and he knew better than to call an ambulance. he also knew he was not hallucinating because was expecting these two.
The bulky shadow went out into the street grateful no one was awake. They would not have responded well to his true form.Normally, he wore a disguise but to save his guests he required fire power.
Three shadows retreated into a coffee shop. A blaze of flame did wake the neighbors, but the smell of smoke disappeared and they decided all was well.
The rest of Boston slept on.
The Netherworld
So clearly two dimensions is not enough for one story and I needed to add a third. The Netherworld is an alternative to the alternate dimension. It's a little bit spooky, a little bit crazy, and a lotta bit dangerous. But it's also a place where Shana gets to be in total command of the situation and we really see her shine for the first time.
Ben looked around again. He saw two suns in the silt-colored sky, each shining a sickly green. Looking down he realized that he and Shana had been lucky enough to land on a patch of dirt. The rest of the earth was covered in spiky brambles that could rip up their feet.
"Shana whoever made this reality must be deranged."
"Yes." Shana agreed though she still sounded calm.
There was a brief movement from a nearby tree root, a squelching hiss, and then an explosion of tan slime and navy light.
Ben almost jumped but then remembered the brambles He backed up against the tree. "What in the world was that?"
Shana was tucking her necklace back under her dress "Which world?"
Ben gaped. This wasn't the Shana he had come to know and tolerate. "Mind, yours, this one. Take your pick."
My Hero
This excerpt represents the best of the best in some ways. It's not that I think that this is my best work, but rather that it came organically. I wasn't planning on writing it, it wasn't something that I set out to write, but it popped into my mind and I needed to write it down. It's about Ben and how he deals with being stuck in the Netherworld, the dimension where the evil magician Helvor lives. To read more about my reasoning check out this post.
Ben's mouth felt dry. He was no hero. He had no magic powers. In all his favorite books the protagonist had some extraordinary birth, or a prophecy foretelling how they would save the world. Sure they had it rough for a while but at least they knew they were in for the rough time. And they knew things would work out because the magician/king/soothsayer had told them so.
But Ben was ordinary. When he was little he had always looked for magical items or portals to other worlds but didn't quite believe in magic was true. Yet here he was crawling through some kind of slime, tripping over mutant tree roots, and duck every time Shana blasted light from her necklace to zap the alukahs. He could really use some powers, a prophecy, or a magical mentor right about now.
Twizzlers
Yes twizzlers. As I said in my post twizzlers were a wonderful inspiration. Welcome to Rafi's bedroom. Welcome to Kalynn in Rafi's bedroom finally exploring the Otherworld. Welcome to Kalynn's first twizzler.
Kalynn pointed to the bundle of twizzlers stuffed into a glass soda bottle. The bottle was strategically placed an arm's length from the keyboard.
"What are those?"
"Twizzlers. It's a type of candy. Do you want one?"
He watched Kalynn take a twizzler and roll it between her fingers as if testing the ridges and indents. Then her tongue flicked out, almost like a lizard's, delicately grazing the top point.
"Just bite it." Rafi urged her. They taste better when eaten all at once."
Kalynn obeyed and Rafi watched her chew slowly, almost thoughtfully.
"What is this flavor?"
He smiled. "Red."
"Red is a flavor in the Otherworld?"
"No, but you can't describe a twizzler as anything but red. It is what it is."
Ben and Rafi for Life
I love bromances. Two of my closest guy friends have the cutest relationship ever and I joke that I love to third wheel them. As I continue to write about Ben and Rafi and get to know them I can tell that they have an amazing bromance as well. My goal as a writer is to bring it out onto the page and make everyone say "aww". This scene takes place before Ben and Rafi even go to Cornerstone. Later in the story, we see Ben as the dominant force in his and Rafi's friendship. What I like about this part is that Rafi is able to take charge for once. The boys have just finished work for the day when the espresso machine explodes.
"Dude you don't always have to fix everything."
"What are you talking about?"
Rafi waved to the last of the customers leaving the shop, smiling mechanically. What he really wanted to do was shake Ben until he reentered reality.
The bell jingled one last time and Ben flipped the door sign to "closed." Then he walked behind the counter and surveyed the emss of the espresso machine.
Rafi came to stand next to Ben. They stood in silence, Rafi trying to figure out how much they would lose from their paychecks because of the accident. He was also waiting for Ben to speak. If Ben had a question he didn't shut up until he got an answer.
Eventually Ben stopped mopping up cold coffee and repeated his question, "what are you talking about?"
Rafi pulled himself up onto the counter and looked at his friend. "You know how we sometimes mess up? You always want to be the one to fix things."
"That's not true."
"Yeah it is. If I have a problem that has nothing to do with you, you still want to fix it."
"So?" I'm just being a good friend."
"Look man, advice is cool and I appreciate it, but it's not always your responsibility to make everything better. Like right now. Let me call Mr. N and see what we should do about this mess." He gestured to the machine which had started spitting steam.
"Are you sure?"
Rafi got off the counter, took the coffee-sodden paper towels out of Ben's hands, and dragged him over to an empty arm chair. "I got this. You just chill."
"But-" Ben began.
Rafi cut him off. "Relax please. I know you can." He smiled. "I'm the one who taught you how."
Ben actually laughed. "And you're the expert."
Rafi pulled out his cell phone, glad that he had been able to help his friend. It was true that Ben normally fixed thigns and it was nice to step up for once.
After a few minutes on the phone with Mr. N, Rafi sat down next to Ben. "We're all good. Mr. N said that the machine was old and that it needed to be replaced anyway. He's not going to dock out paychecks. We're going to close tomorrow but the two of us need to be here to let the guys in who are going to install the new machine."
"Cool. And, thanks man."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't get girly on me man. Let's get out of here."
New Dialogue! And a way to fill in the blanks--
As I mentioned in my 3/13 post I love writing dialogue and I think it's my strength as a writer. This is some new dialogue that I'm going to put in to a place where previously, I just had a one line sentence. In this scene, Kalynn and Rafi have gone back to Boston leaving Ben in Cornerstone with Shana. Before, the story read: "After Kalynn and Rafi left yesterday he and Shana hadn’t talked at all. They had stayed in Shana’s apartment all night in silence."
Now I'm going to actually show what happens when Shana and Ben have to spend time alone together. Here's the raw draft, Ben and Shana are in Shana's apartment and they just finished dinner.
"Is everything okay?" Ben asked.
"Not particularly." Shana glared at him.
"Can I help with anything?" Shana hadn't been great so far but Ben intented to keep his promise to Kalynn. He would be nice to Shana. And if he could help her with whatever seemed to be bugging her she might be nicer.
"Will you go home?"
"Isn't it your job to send me home?"
"Believe me, if I could I would." Ben heard the resentment in her voice.
"Hey look, it's not my fault I'm here remember?"
"No, but you are ruining my plan."
"You have a plan?"
"Of course. Don't you?"
Ben shrugged. "Finish high school, go to college, and use that time to figure out what I want to do."
Shana shifted and Ben though he could almost feel her confusion.
"Don't you want to have a plan?"
"I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure what I want to do yet. It's exciting that I get to figure it out."
"Doesn't," she hesitated, "doesn't it scare you not knowing what will happen?"
"Not really. It's an adventure." He got up to clear the dishes from the table. As he put them in the basin of water he asked, "Why? Does it scare you to not have a plan?" When he came back to the table for the glasses he saw Shana with her hands covering her face.
Ignoring the galsses Ben sat next to Shana, took her wrists, and gently peeled back her hands.
"You really don't like not having a plan do you?"
Shana's shoulders sagged. "I don't like not knowing what is going to happen. Since I was little and knew that I loved making potions and charms I planned on opening my own shop. Everything I've done, learning from my local herbwife, my apprenticeship, studying in the University, has been so I could get to this moment. Now I feel as if I've lost control of everything."
"Because I'm here?"
Ben looked at Shana as she opened her mouth, paused, then shut it again. She thought for a moment then replied, "yes."
"Is that the whole reason?"
Shana's shoulders rolled back up and her eyebrows snapped together. "Yes that is everything. You are an unknown and I don't have a plan to send you back home."
Ben could tell that Shana was hiding something but decided not to push it. Instead he said, "Look you do have a plan. You can trust Kalynn and Rafi to get me home. And if there is something else going on, I'm sure things will work out."
"I told you nothing else is wrong." Ben still didn't believe her though as he watched her bite her lip.
"Look if something is wrong maybe I can help."
Shana opened her mouth again and swallowed a lot of air. "Thank you for your concern. I will keep your offer in mind should I need help."
Ben, sensing that their almost-bonding moment was over stayed quiet, stood up, and began to clear the glasses off the table.
Another Excerpt
About a month ago I submitted part of Guardians to my school's English department in order to try and get into a creative writing class. I have no idea if I got in, but the part I submitted is definitely one of my favorites so I figured I'd share it. (Note, in one part of the story, Shana and Ben get transported back to ancient Rome, in our time.)
Ben felt sunshine drifting across his face and smiled,
keeping his eyes closed. Suddenly, brisk hands grabbed his shoulders, ruining
the peaceful moment. He opened his eyes.
“What?” He asked groggily.
“Good, you’re awake.” There was Shana briskly brushing
dirt off his sweatshirt. She shoved it at him.
“I am now.” He sat up slowly, staring at the sweatshirt,
still not quite sure how it had gotten into his hands.
“It’s time to go.” Shana was now putting out the fire.
“Go where?”
“I do not know. But we cannot simply sit here and do
nothing.”
Ben dimly registered that the more stressed out Shana
was, the more old-fashioned her speech became. “Well yeah, but what do you
think we should do?”
Shana stopped cleaning up and dropped onto the ground.
“I have no notion.” She rested her head on her hand. “I wish there was another
Guardian I could ask for advice.”
“Shana there isn’t…” Ben broke off his sentence as he
realized something. “Wait, there might be someone who can help us find another
Guardian.”
“Who?”
“Romulus. He must be around here somewhere overseeing
the construction of the city. Maybe he can help us contact Remus.”
“And maybe Remus can help us get back to Cornerstone.”
Shana finished excitedly. “This might work.”
“Don’t sound so surprised.” Ben paused. “The only
problem is that I’m not exactly sure where to find Romulus.” He sighed. “I wish
Rafi was here. He knows even more about ancient Rome than I do.”
“He does?”
Ben laughed. “Yeah. He likes to pretend he’s so cool
but he’s just as obsessed with ancient civilizations and mythology as I am.” He
stopped laughing. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t talk to him.”
“That’s no matter. I can simply call Kalynn…” Shana’s
voice trailed off as she remembered her lack of magic.
Suddenly Shana’s necklace glowed navy. She stared at it
in wonder. “I’m getting a call.”
“Pick it up,” Ben urged her. “Maybe it’s someone who
can help.”
Shana just stared at her charms. “I don’t understand?
How can I be receiving a call? My magic does not work here.”
Ben shrugged. “Maybe because the person calling you
still has magic wherever they are.” He looked at the necklace, which was still
glowing. “You’d better answer.”
Shana gripped her charms. “Hello,” she said hesitantly.
“Shana!” Kalynn’s voice faded into the early morning
air. “Where are you? It’s taken ages to reach you, even with an Amplifying
Charm. There’s something you need to know.”
“Helvor’s a crazy, psychotic, magician?” Ben piped up.
“Ben? What do you mean?”
“We mean,” Shana said, overly patient, “that we found
the portal in Cornerstone, got sent to Helvor’s workshop in the Netherworld, he
sent us back to ancient Rome, and now I have no magic.”
“He what?” A familiar accented voice crackled through
the anchor and key.
As Shana explained about their meeting with Helvor Ben
tried to place the voice that had just come through the necklace.
“Mr. N.?” He called out hesitantly. “Is that you?”
“Hello Benjamin!” Mr. N. said cheerfully. “I must say
it is good to hear your voice.”
“But what? How?”
“Relax dude.” Rafi’s voice rang through. “Mr. N’s real
name is Master Naga and he’s the Mingler we contacted. He was Helvor’s
assistant.”
“Oh, well, okay. Hey, you’re the Naga Helvor mentioned
went to the Otherworld instead of him.” Ben stopped talking to let his brain
process the latest weird occurrence in a series of extremely weird events.
Taking advantage of Ben’s silence Shana said, “there’s
something I do not understand. How come Kalynn can use magic in the Otherworld
but I cannot?”
“It’s very simple Shana.” That was Master Naga. Ben
could picture him smiling reassuringly as he spoke. “You are in a time before
Helvor reopened the portal between worlds. Kalynn is in a time where magic has
been brought back to the Otherworld. Since she has reached out to you, your
magic can respond, but you will be unable to perform spells on your own.”
“So then how will we get back?” Shana slammed onto the
ground with a thud. She sat up.
“Ouch.”
“Is everything all right?” Kalynn sounded concerned.
“Yeah”, Ben replied. “Shana’s just being a drama queen.
“A what?”
“Never mind. I had an idea that might help us get out
of here.” He explained his theory about finding Romulus. “The only problem is,
I have no idea how to find him.” Ben finished. “Rafi, any ideas?”
“Me?” Ben could picture Rafi slouched against a wall,
eyes slightly unfocused, pretending he didn’t care. “Why would I know
anything?”
“Cut the crap Rafi, it’s me.” Ben said, exasperated
with his friend. “I’m stuck on a freaking deserted hill in the 8th
century BCE and you’re the only person who can help me figure this out. So
quiet pretending you’re too coo to know stuff and just help.”
“Hey man, I’m sorry. I forget okay? It’s like, a
habit.” Rafi fumbled around for the right words.
“No worries dude, just tell me what I need to know.”
Ben heard an “ahem” from the ground. “Sorry tell us what we need to know.”
“Okay.” Now Ben figured there would be an actual spark
of interest in Rafi’s eyes and he’d be pacing around, unable to stand still.
“You’re on a deserted hill? You’re in the wrong place. You need to find the one
full of people. Romulus wanted to build on Palatine Hill, you guys need to go
there.”
“But how do we get there?”
He could almost hear Rafi shrug. “I don’t know. Walk
around until you see a bunch of people building a city.”
“Thanks bud.” Ben said wryly.
“Anytime.”
“Shana?” Kalynn called out. “Are you going to be all
right?
Shana sat up slowly. “I believe so. We have a plan now
and we will be able to get back.
“Just remember to stay calm.” Kalynn cautioned. “It won’t
do for you to start yelling at everyone you meet.”
Ben saw Shana stiffen, then relax. “Thank you for the
advice. I miss you Kalynn.”
“I miss you too Shana. Don’t worry; we will see each
other soon. Goodbye.” Ben heard a static sound and then the connection was
gone.
***
Shana looked forlornly at the charms, which were still
nestled in her hand. It had been wonderful talking to Kalynn. Though she would
never admit it to Ben, Kalynn anchored her much as Cornerstone anchored Boston.
She resolved right then to tell her friend how much she really meant to her
when she got back. If she got back.
“Do you think Rafi is right?” She asked Ben.
He extended a hand to her. “Yeah, I do Rafi knows what
he’s talking about. I think the real question is how we find Palatine Hill?”
Shana took the offered hand and pulled herself up off
the ground. As she did, she heard a rumbling sound. “Well I suppose we shall
have to be resourceful. And quickly,” she added. “It does not sound like you
can wait that much longer to eat.”
Ben scanned the horizon. “I’m a teenage boy, what do
you expect?” He pointed to the top of the hill. “If we go up to the summit
maybe we can look at all the hills. The one that looks the most developed has
to be Palatine.”
“That’s very sensible.” Shana said with grudging
respect. Who knew that Others could actually help? Not, she thought, that she
would admit it to Ben.
Ben started walking to the top of the hill. “Don’t
sound so surprised.” He didn’t turn around.
Shana rushed to catch up with him. “I apologize for my
rudeness,” she told him. The words were easier to say than she had expected.
Then she added, “you must remember though, you and Rafi are the first Others I
have met. How could I be expected to know anything about the extent of your
knowledge?”
Ben stopped to rest. “You always have to have the last
word don’t you?”
About to snap back, Shana rested her palms against her
thighs and relaxed instead. Once she had calmed down she straightened and
looked at Ben. Speaking to him as she would Kalynn she said, “always. It is one
of my charms.”
Ben snorted. “You’re charming?”
“Not always. Not when I meet annoying Others.”
“Very funny.”
Before he could come up with a better response Shana
hiked up her skirts and pushed towards the top. It soon became clear that humans
had not yet developed the hill. There was no visible path, instead, tall trees
obstructed the way and Shana’s dress kept getting caught in low branches. She
found herself wishing that she was wearing Ben’s strange breeches and his- what
had he called it- his t-shirt. Pushing away a branch she smiled to herself.
Perhaps Kalynn was right and Guardians could learn from Others. At least, she
amended her thought, as far as clothing was concerned.
Shana and Ben walked along in silence, which gave Shana
a chance to admire the scenery (when she wasn’t doing battle with it). There
was some truly remarkable plant life, and she wished they had more time to
examine the flora, so she could bring some back to make potions and charms. She
smiled to herself. She couldn’t escape being a Guardian, even in the
Otherworld.
Finally they made it to the top of the hill. Once
again, the beauty of the location struck Shana. Peaks of green ebbed and flowed
as a soft breeze brushed the leaves on the trees. Dabs of pure white punctuated
the sun-saturated sky. Despite their rather desperate situation, Shana couldn’t
help but smile as she took in the moment.
“Look!” Ben pointed eagerly. Shana followed his gaze
and saw a cluster of rough shelters bout halfway up the adjacent hill. Looking
higher up she saw a swarm of people at work.
“So that’s it?” She asked Ben. “Palatine Hill?”
He nodded. “It must be.” He gestured to the foot of the
hill. “See, they’re filling in the swamps between the hills to connect them.”
“So,” Shana said, hoping Ben didn’t hear the tremor in
her voice. “Do we simply go down and talk to them? Actually, how do we
communicate?”
“Well, I take
Latin at school. It might not be the same version, but it should be close
enough.”
“How well can you speak it?”
“Well enough. Why, do you still not trust me?”
“No, I believe I do. But I also do not want to get
attacked due to a communication error.”
Ben laughed. “True. Well, maybe you should help me.” He
smirked. “You said you were charming.”
Shana tossed her head back proudly. “Thank you for
finally noticing.” Then she thought of something else. “Do your realize that we
are actually getting along?”
“Don’t ruin the moment.” He turned back towards the
bottom of the hill. “Race you down.” He started sprinting.
Gasping in indignation Shana gathered her skirts and
hurried to catch up. The trip down progressed far more rapidly than the one up.
Shana supposed it was because she spent half of it in a sort of stumbling
free-fall. In fact, she tripped into Ben just as he was performing a victory
dance.
As he struggled to regain his balance she sniffed. “How
childish.”
He finished his dance. “Still a stuck up snob.”
“No I am not.” She twirled giddily, feeling her skirts
billow out. Steadying herself, she noticed Ben staring at her. “What?”
“I’ve never seen you this relaxed.”
She paused to think. “I relax when I feel comfortable.
And you know, I believe I am beginning to adapt.” She gestured to their
surroundings. “Everything is so beautiful, how can I not be happy?”
Ben grinned. “I’m just glad we’re not fighting. He
offered her his hand. “Come on, let’s go find Romulus.”
***
After about half an hour (in which Shana’s skirt got
twisted, stained, and ripped) they finally made it to the foot of Palatine
Hill.
“Now what?” Shana looked at the hut-like dwellings
scattered along a curling river. One of them must belong to Romulus.
Unconsciously she began to gnaw on her thumbnail.
Ben noticed and knocked her hand away. “Don’t do that.
And don’t be worried. You held it together really well when the Councilman came
yesterday.”
Shana snorted. “Well look how that turned out.”
“Come on, you’re a good actress. Just tell me what to
say and I’ll do the talking.”
His suggestion struck a chord with
Shana. “A team,” she said slowly. “Guardian and Other working together.”
A smile spread on Ben’s face until
his eyes shone with confidence. “Maybe we will get out of here.”
He strode up to a man wearing
garments made of rough skins, pouring a bag of sand into a patch of swamp.
“Ecusare me. Die ubi Romulus ivenire
potes?”
The man frowned and lifted a nearby
spear. Shana’s stomach knotted.
“He does not look happy,” she
whispered. “What did you say?”
Ben looked puzzled as he backed away
from the spear. “I asked him where to find Romulus.”
“Well ask him again. But this time
tell him we are from a distant place, we are lost, and we need to ask Romulus
for assistance. And apologize for disturbing him before you begin.”
Ben laughed. “I guess my customer
service training paid off. You actually sound polite.”
“Do not sound so surprised.”
Ben approached the man again. He
smiled at him and said something in rapid Latin.
This time the man stopped working,
appraised Ben and Shana, then pointed to the largest hut, a little ways up the
hill.
“Vivit in ibi,” he said to Ben.
Bowing slightly Ben said, “gratias
ipsum,” and returned to Shana.
“Well?”
Ben pointed to the same hut.
“Romulus lives there.”
“Well then why are we waiting? Let’s
go.”
4/10/12- The First Ending
I can't believe I'm writing these three words. I've actually finished a rough draft. I expected to be really happy, but right now I'm a little in shock. My heart's racing a bit and I don't really know what to think. I'm happy, for sure, but also overwhelmed. When I was in fourth grade I wrote a really awful story that I never finished. And when I was a freshman in high school I got about halfway through another terrible story before I gave it up. But I actually have a full rough draft. I think I might actually be in shock. I've spent so much time with these characters, and I can even hear phrases from the story echoing in my mind right now. But I am definitely proud of myself, and ready to start editing and making it even better. I really hope that one day I'll look back on this post and be amazed at how far Guardians has come since, and know that one day, it truly will be published.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Even though it's 1:13 on February 15th I thought I'd still share one of the more romantic scenes from Guardians in honor of this day. (Note, a Mingler is a Guardian who travels to the Otherworld--our world and makes sure that the two worlds are in balance). This is one of the last scenes of the entire story.
"Rafi!" Kalynn ran after him.
"What?" He didn't turn around.
"We need to talk."
He kept walking forward. When a girl said that it was never good.
A hand touched his shoulder and spun him around. There was Kalynn pointed ears and green streaked hair. This close he could tell that her freckles were also green.
"Rafi I'm serious." Her voice shook slightly and she tightened her grip on his shoulder. "You can't leave now. Not before we talk about what happened."
He tried to shrug her hand off but she pressed down harder.
"Look, there's nothing to talk about. We kissed once. I live in Boston and you live-"
"In a parallel universe that you are going to be visiting quite often." Kalynn interrupted. "And mt I remind you that the Council just granted me my Mingler's License ?"
Rafi turned his back to her, but he didn't walk away. "Kalynn-" he began.
She cut him off again. "Don't give me an excuse. "Just," her voice cracked, "just tell me how you actually feel."
Now Rafi did turn and look at her. "It was the best kiss I've ever had." He felt his chest tighten. "I'd like to feel that again but..." His voice trailed off, inviting her to fill in the blank.
"But you don't want anything to go wrong." She said gently.
He groaned. "see, this scares me. You can finish my sentences."
Kalynn put her hand around his neck and laced her fingers. "No more reasons why you can't."
He locked his fingers around her waist. "Are you really going to make me say it?" HIs eyes drifted towards her lips.
She ducked her head. "No kissing until you do." He heard a suppressed giggle escape.
He took a hand from her waist and brought it under her chin. Lifting her chin up he said seriously, "even though it scares me that you can complete my sentences I still like it." Then he bent down and gently pressed his lips against hers. She didn't stop him.
Coffee With Rafi
I'm still having some trouble with Rafi, one of my guy characters. He keeps seeming more like a cliche, rather than a real person. So, today as I was having coffee I decided to have a conversation with him. Other authors say that they can see/talk to their characters so I decided to give it a try. And there he was. Slouched in a chair, blue eyes looking downward, chin against his neck so I could basically only see his blonde head. Kind of like in the reader's introduction to Rafi ("a lump stirred at a nearby table... Rafi Suldan shook shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes and glared at Ben. “Man, I just want to sleep.”) Anyway, here's the conversation we had. It was quite illuminating. Keep in mind that it's okay if you're confused because I refer to different parts of the story that haven't been explained on this page yet.
Me: Hi
Rafi. What's up?
Rafi:
Not a lot.
M: Are
you happy?
R: Not
really
M: Are
you ever happy?
R:
Sometimes
M: When?
R: When
I'm alone
M: Why?
R:
Because I can do what I want
M: So
then why are you always with people?
R:
Because I'm supposed to be
M: Says
who?
R:
Everyone
M: Even
Ben?
R:
Ben's different
M: How?
R: He was friends with me
before
M:
Before what?
R:
Before I got good at stuff
M:
So...
R: So he won't stop being
my friend if I screw up
M: And
everyone else will?
R: I
dunno
M: Is
that why you're grumpy all the time?
R:
Maybe
M: Was
Kalynn wrong, are you not just bored?
R: No,
I am
M: So
you're bored and grumpy?
R:
Yeah, I guess
M: Ever
think people might like you if you take a risk? Ben sees right through you and
he still likes you
R: Yeah
he does
M: Am I
writing you correctly? Do I get you?
R: I
don't know if I want you to get me
M:
Kalynn gets you
R: And
that's scary
M:
Because you don't want people knowing you're weak?
R: Sure
M: You
know no one does
R: Yeah
but I have more to live up to
M: I
bet if you screw up you're friends will still like you
R:
Maybe
M: And
if it makes you feel any better you're giving me a lot of trouble
R: Good
M: So
you're complicated and weak
R: Has
anyone told you that you talk too much?
M: All
the time
R: Can
I go now?
M: Sure
Well, he was gruff
and aggravating but I'm finally getting a sense of is character. He's just this
hidden softie who's scarily perfect at everything. But as he finds out,
perfection isn't that great. Anyway, this technique worked so well that I might
try to use it with my other three main characters. If I do, I'll post the
conversations right here. Until then, at least Rafi is finally coming to
life.
One Year Later: Last year, "Guardians" was just an idea
scribbled down in my senior project notebook. I actually started it by asking
myself questions about what I wanted to write. I can't even pinpoint where I
got the whole idea but I think it started with the idea of another city
attached to a modern day city that we all know. Actually, the story was
originally going to be set in Seattle because I thought that would be cool but
I changed it to Boston pretty quickly because I know and love Boston. Anyways,
I'm still writing and still plugging ahead. Even though college drained my
creative energy when it comes to poetry it's easier to sit down and just try to
write a story because you already have a basic idea. Currently, Guardians is 68 pages long 1.5 spaced, along with the final ending
which hasn't changed. However, even though the final ending hasn't changed the
gist of the ending has. Basically, I thought that the way the characters
arrived at my desired ending was boring, contrived, and after all the work I
had put into Shana there was no way she was going to take a total nosedive and
just bomb everything. So now, the ending is going to be a whole lot more tense,
exciting, and hopefully just a little unique. I am so proud of everything that
I've done so far and have no intention of stopping now. I want to write it,
edit it, and one day hopefully see it published. There's no way of knowing when
and if that will happen but until then I just have to keep going forward. Who
knows? Maybe one day I'll be a guest speaker at my high school talking about
what can happen if you actually put an effort into your senior project. :)
The Results: This post should have happened on May 12, 2011 but as I've been
saying, like can catch you up sometimes. No, the results don't mean that I've
finished "Guardians" yet, (although I am proud to report that it is
now 50 pages long), it means that I presented the novel to my senior project
class at school. I have to give a lot of credit to senior project. Having 70
minutes 3-4 times a week to just sit and write was amazing. Not only that, but
the class gave me the motivation to actually get writing. Yes there are events
such as National Novel Month but for me beginning required a little extra
incentive such as the fact that I was being graded. So, back to May 12, 2011,
which was senior project presentation day. It was an amazing 20 minutes really.
I love talking about what I love and what I love is writing. (I just used love
3 times, kind of embarrassing.) Anyway, it felt really great to share all my
hard work with my classmates. Not only did I actually read from
"Guardians" but I got to share my writing process. For me, that was
almost as amazing as actually reading the excerpt because I think that how I
write says a lot about me as a person and also is a large part of who I am. In
some ways, I am my writing and it was the best feeling in the world to be able
to share that part of me with my classmates.
ANOTHER UPDATE: ENDING!!!!
Yes, you read that correctly. For someone who is so vehemently against having a rigid ending I have written the last three pages of the story. Strange, I know, but inspiration struck me and I wasn't about the ignore it. Honestly, when I started writing, I didn't even know it was going to become the ending. But then something just clicked and I realized that what I was writing would make sense as the ending of the story. And, well, that's about it. I'll probably go back to it at some point and make sure that it is consistent with the rest of the story but I'm happy with it right now.
UPDATE: HALFWAY THERE!!!!
I have now written 33 pages 1.5 spacing. I am very happy with the story so far. Also, I've outlined the second half and written the ending. It's shaping up to be something that I would want to read and that is my biggest goal as a writer, so I'm happy. Like I said on the home page, this blog was inspired by my senior project. So I figured it would only be fair if I included a few passages from my story. WARNING: None of this has been edited. And I don't know if all of it will make sense but I think that for a first draft from an amateur writer, this is pretty good. At least, it's something I'm proud of. This is the first passage.
Shana Herbweaver pushed curly brown hair away from a sweaty forehead and smiled. Her new shop was starting to come together. It looked like a real store rather than an old building. The potions she had labored over for a solid month were lined up neatly on the shelves against one of the walls. The charm table and herb tables were all set up against the opposite wall and the mixing station for custom potions was fully stocked next to the store cupboard. Even her desk was perfectly organized from the stack of parchment and quill for writing receipts, to the slate and chalk she could use to calculate prices.
Shana walked over to her desk now and picked up a sheaf of parchment. She dipped her quill in the inkwell and wrote in her most elegant calligraphy “Silver Lining, Grand Opening.” Under the announcement she wrote in smaller letters “Potions, herbs, and charms for sale.” Shana looked over the parchment with satisfaction. It looked proper and official. She would take it to Tania for her to copy. The fairy may only be a baker but she also had some nice copy spells.
The wind chimes on the door tinkled as Kalynn Greengrower entered Silver Lining with a basket of herbs.
“Hi Shana!” She trilled. “Wow, this place looks wonderful!”
Shana smiled warmly at the earth sprite. “I have you to thank. If you hadn’t come to help me set up I would never be done in time for the grand opening tomorrow.”
Kalynn set the basket of herbs down on the front counter and waved her hand as if pushing away the compliment. “It was nothing. Anyway here’s another basket of lavender. You’re going to be making a lot of Calming Drafts what with Inspections being tomorrow.”
Shana’s forehead creased slightly. “I had forgotten about Inspections. Do you think the Council will inspect me if I’ve only been open for a day?”
Kalynn took a broom from the corner of the store and started sweeping the floor. “I would think so. You know that shops have to prosper to help keep Cornerstone’s magic in balance.”
Glancing at Kalynn, Shana smiled. It was just like her friend to help without even being asked. Taking the dustpan she went to help Kalynn. “Well then, I guess I’ll just have to do very well on opening day. I cannot be put on Probation.”
The broom stopped moving for a moment as Kalynn paused to look down at the kneeling Shana, moss-green eyes narrowed. “Don’t even think about such a thing Shana. The Council only puts shopkeepers on Probation if their stores are failing. You haven’t even opened yours yet.”
Shana smiled at Kalynn again. “Yes of course. I shouldn’t borrow trouble. It’s just that this is what I’ve always wanted. You know that. I would hate to have worked to complete my apprenticeship and then have my Shop Keeper License taken away.”
