I've been writing new parts of Guardians for a year. As the plot changes, as I get a better understanding of the characters, I add new pieces and tweak ones that I've already written. At each point every section seemed to fit perfectly and seemed like it would make the story better. Now though, as I go and formally type up my second draft, it's hard to see what will be happening.
I really want a machine that I can stick my notebooks into that will spit out a fully typed and copy-edited second draft. Because all I want to do right now is read through the second iteration of the novel. As I type everything up I keep worrying if I've put in the right amount of character development, or if a scene is actually necessary, or what the pacing is like. In short, I've grown some really nice trees but I'm not sure how they fit into the forest.
A year ago I wrote about whether or not I could conceivably call myself a writer. While I might be able to use the title occasionally, I still feel like an impostor whenever I think about what I'm trying to do. Can I really write something that shares a little bit about life? Can I really write believable relationships and an engaging plot? Sometimes I think so, whenever I read one of my little trees. But it's harder to believe that I can plant a forest.
For better or worse most of these posts focus on my self-doubt. Everyone has those moments, but I have chosen to publicly display them (I still can't tell you why). Whatever else, writing these posts are a sort of catharsis because then my fears are displaced into cyberspace and I can focus on the task at hand. And right now I just have to type what I've written. Which, when put that way, doesn't seem so scary.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
Chapter 80: In Which the Author Examines Procrastination
So I decided to get formal for this title. Because...why not? It's finals season so I've been studying the many forms in which I and my fellow students choose to procrastinate. I have to say, we're pretty good at it. This year though, I'm also struggling with another type of procrastination: finishing a second draft.
It's been a little over two years since I finished my first draft of Guardians. I let it sit, I edited, then I changed half the plot and started writing again. It's been a fun experience but I'm experiencing burnout. I want to write something new, to sink my teeth (or pen) into new characters and a new plot. But in some ways, isn't writing something new a way to procrastinate from finishing the second draft?
In school there are deadlines and I meet them. Professional authors have to meet their deadlines too. But as an aspiring author I don't have to meet formal deadline for my creative writing. There's something nice about knowing that I can take my time. But this can also be a roadblock because I have to muster up the motivation to write even if things feel slow. Something new is appealing because I can't be bored yet.
The proverbial "they" say that true writers write every day. What I wish they had told me was if I should be working on a project until it's done or if I can work on whatever I want during my daily writing time.
Maybe I shouldn't turn to a general they, but to one of my favorite authors, who also happens to have a host of accolades. Neil Gaiman once said, "This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy and that hard." I can physically write words with a pen, or type if that's what the occasion calls for. But writing each word until it's perfect? That's harder. But if I ever want to finish what I hope will be my first novel I have to just sit down and write until it's done.
It's been a little over two years since I finished my first draft of Guardians. I let it sit, I edited, then I changed half the plot and started writing again. It's been a fun experience but I'm experiencing burnout. I want to write something new, to sink my teeth (or pen) into new characters and a new plot. But in some ways, isn't writing something new a way to procrastinate from finishing the second draft?
In school there are deadlines and I meet them. Professional authors have to meet their deadlines too. But as an aspiring author I don't have to meet formal deadline for my creative writing. There's something nice about knowing that I can take my time. But this can also be a roadblock because I have to muster up the motivation to write even if things feel slow. Something new is appealing because I can't be bored yet.
The proverbial "they" say that true writers write every day. What I wish they had told me was if I should be working on a project until it's done or if I can work on whatever I want during my daily writing time.
Maybe I shouldn't turn to a general they, but to one of my favorite authors, who also happens to have a host of accolades. Neil Gaiman once said, "This is how you do it: you sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until its done. It's that easy and that hard." I can physically write words with a pen, or type if that's what the occasion calls for. But writing each word until it's perfect? That's harder. But if I ever want to finish what I hope will be my first novel I have to just sit down and write until it's done.
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